UPBUILDING THE SELF
The Rules That Rule Us
How do you peel an apple? How do you brush your teeth? How do you soap yourself in the shower? We all have a set of “rules for achieving an outcome” that underlie absolutely everything we do, and yet, we are rarely conscious of those rules. By bringing consciousness to our rules, we have the freedom to embrace them or change them in a way that will better serve us and the people in our lives. In this episode, Vipin, Michael, and Hari Prasada share their learnings from Dave Parke’s ”rules for achieving an outcome” framework, which has been instrumental in their coaching and for their own growth. They share personal examples of how they apply the framework and how the ego fits into the story. They give us actionable steps for how we can become more aware of our rules to better our relationships, follow through on our goals, and find more satisfaction in our lives.
Podcast Hosts: Vipin, Michael, and Hari Prasada
Highlights
[1:40] Safe vs. Quality Problems
[2:05] Dave Parke’s “rules for achieving an outcome” framework
[4:00] Peeling an apple
[6:00] It’s not about preferences; it’s about outcomes.
[9:00] Michael’s personal example of how he applied the framework in a challenging situation
[11:00] What happens when we identify our rules?
[13:30] The role of the ego
[14:40] Complex equivalence: Just because we think A equals B doesn’t mean A always equals B.
[16:30] The Agitation We Feel from Social Media (Our Unilateral Contracts)
[20:30] Hari Prasada’s coaching example
[25:10] Optimum/Ideal vs. Required/Acceptable
[26:10] Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
[30:30] The benefits of bringing attention to our rules
[32:10] Vipin’s rules for taking a shower
[34:50] The Enneagram
[36:00] Michael’s discovery question for coaching
[37:30] How Will You Measure Your Life?
[40:00] Tips to start using this framework
Quotes
“In shaping our consciousness and character, the consistency of our habits is the key.’ -Hari Prasada
“The rules for achieving an outcome is vital to help us stop sleepwalking.” -Hari Prasada
“There’s nothing that exists in our life without some rules.” -Hari Prasada
For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self
About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.
