UPBUILDING THE SELF

Our Need for Validation and Why We Don’t Like to Need It

We all have a need for validation, and yet most of us don’t like to acknowledge that we need it.

In this episode, Rasanath and Vipin explore the definition of validation, why most of us have a difficult relationship with our need for validation, and why it is essential to our identities. They share personal examples and examples from their experience as coaches to illustrate how to move from an unhealthy to a healthy pursuit of validation.

Podcast Hosts: Vipin and Rasanath

Highlights

  • [2:50] What is validation?

  • [4:10] The paradox of validation

  • [6:00] Mirroring and why it’s so fundamental to who we are

  • [10:30] The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

  • [11:30] Why is validation so complex?

  • [14:40] Acknowledging our need for validation

  • [15:30] Rasanath’s personal examples showing the complexity of validation

  • [22:40] Validation in the workplace 

  • [26:10] “See me the way I want to be seen”

  • [30:30] Social media as a validation machine

  • [34:40] Coaching as a process for healthy mirroring

  • [36:00] Pursuing validation in a healthy way

  • [48:40] Final thoughts

Quotes

  • “Validation is tied very deeply to a core human need of wanting to be mirrored.” -Rasanath

  • “When we think about where we need mirroring in our lives, it’s likely to be places…we are so close to that we can’t actually see [ourselves].” -Vipin

  • “Validation is a very important part of the expression of love.” -Rasanath

  • “Every relationship is a reflection of who I am as a person.” -Rasanath

  • “If you look at a healthy organization, a healthy family, what you will see is a chain of healthy mirroring.” -Rasanath

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.