UPBUILDING THE SELF

I Dislike in You What I Dislike in Me

What is anger? Where does it come from? What can we do about it?

What is one thing you are judgmental of others about? How is this also true about you? In what way does knowing it is true about you bring up shame? 

Michael and Hari, building off of Michael’s piece, I Dislike in You What I Dislike in Me, explore how our judgments of other people are often a mirror for what we don’t like about ourselves. They look at how this hypocrisy disconnects us from other people, why we sometimes feel the need to knock others down, the role of envy, and how we can use judgments as opportunities for personal growth.

Podcast Hosts: Michael and Hari Prasada

Highlights

  • [1:30] Michael’s experience at the gym / inspiration for writing the piece

  • [6:20] The different ways disconnection impacts us

  • [8:50] Do we actually want to become less judgmental?

  • [10:30] Soren Kierkegaard - The Process of Leveling

  • [14:30] Finding the hypocrisy

  • [19:00] What to do when we observe that we are judgmental of others because we observe behaviors different than our own

  • [28:35] Feeling triggered when spending time with family? / “If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.” -Ram Dass

  • [33:20] Gandhi’s sweets story

  • [38:00] The power of authenticity

  • [40:00] Three questions to anchor this teaching / final takeaways

  • [47:30] Amara Jivana, Bhaktivinoda Thakura

Quotes

  • “The dislike is the…way of distancing myself from what I don’t like about myself.” -Michael

  • “Judgment is about making ourselves feel superior to somebody else.” -Michael

  • “Every superiority complex is actually coming from a sense of inferiority.” -Hari Prasada

  • “Some of my dislike of people (who I feel disrespect me) is because it also reminds me of how I tend to disrespect other people…and I don’t like that about myself.” -Michael

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.