UPBUILDING THE SELF

What Does It Mean to Be a Chameleon

Are you a person who changes your beliefs or behaviors in order to please others or to succeed? Do you think this is a positive characteristic? Vipin, Michael, and Rasanath break down what it means to be a chameleon and why many of us go through life feeling pleased with ourselves for being this way. They share real life examples of how they were chameleons in their younger years, how to tell the difference between adaptability and chameleonism, the costs of being chameleonic, and concrete ways to become more adaptable and less chameleonic.

Podcast Hosts: Vipin Goyal, Rasanath Das, and Michael Sloyer

Highlights

  • [3:20] Enneagram Type 3s (Achievers) 

  • [4:00] The definition of the word “chameleon” 

  • [6:30] The advantages we think we have by being chameleonic

  • [8:30] Vipin’s experience of morphing himself to navigate the social structures in high school

  • [9:30] Rasanath’s experience of stretching the truth giving a speech and at job interviews to impress others

  • [12:10] Michael's experience in college being a party boy

  • [16:00] How chameleons read articles and books so they can impress others with their knowledge

  • [19:00] The disconnection and emptiness we experience when we are not being our real selves

  • [21:30] The similarities between a chameleon and a salesperson

  • [26:10] How a chameleon is like a magician who doesn’t let his/her audience get too close to the stage

  • [29:30] Choosing between winning and intimacy

  • [34:00] The disconnection from the heart which causes us to be on a never-ending quest for validation 

  • [35:00] The difference between adaptability and chameleonism

  • [36:00] The power of adapting without changing who I am and understanding our intentions

  • [36:30] Concrete ways to move from chameleonic to adaptable

Quotes

  • "Winning becomes a substitute for love and connection " -Rasanath Das

  • "When you are talking from the heart, that is felt on the other side." -Vipin Goyal 

  • “We miss out on real connection when we are being chameleonic.” -Michael Sloyer

  • “When I truly love something, how I speak about it has a quality of the heart…and you can see authenticity in the expression” -Rasanath Das

  • “The discomfort that comes from spending time in a way that is not aligned with who we are gives us an indication that we are being chameleonic.” -Michael Sloyer

  • “When you are being adaptable, it is not at the cost of authenticity.”  -Rasanath Das

  • “When we stretch the truth a little bit, we don’t think of it as lying. We think of it as a rounding error.” -Rasanath Das

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.