Types 2 - 3 - 4

The Heart Center Types are all most concerned with their image in the eyes of others, which if not matching the image they want to be seen as, makes them feel so embarrassed and fraudulent that they react in different ways to the shame as if to prove, “I won’t let myself go exposed like this – I will create a solid identity to cover myself in that the world will see…” 

Type 2 Provocation

Making me feel like we’re not as close as I feel, like I’m not selfless and caring enough to help you in all respects, like there are better friends and more loving people to have by your side, or bringing me in touch with my own deep-seated neediness, directly or indirectly

Type 3 Provocation 

Making me feel like I’m not competent enough to get the job done, I can’t steer people toward the goal, others are getting ahead of me, I don’t have it all together, or that I’m failing in any aspect of life either you or I value (because what you value is what I value until there’s a bigger, more important you)

Type 4 Provocation 

Making me feel like I’m nobody special, my voice doesn’t matter, I’m not extremely deep, clear, real, thoughtful, perceptive, insightful, creative, impassioned, caring, and impactful in my approach to every single thing in life, because the reality is that no matter how hard I try, I’m just too flawed to make it through the world, as I always knew… 

Type 2 in Shame 

The Intimacy Igniter – I dive head-first into best-friend mode to make you see I’m the most loving person on earth by serving your every possible need, acting super-affectionately, lavishing you with praises, and becoming a robust generator of quality-time opportunities 

Type 3 in Shame

 The Achievement Machine – I get things done like no one else, constantly pushing forward, seeking acclaim, connecting with the bigwigs, and showing what I can do, all to make you see that I’m actually the best – at life – but I’m also so generous that I’m ready to tell how you can follow in my footsteps too (just a little bit behind me)

Type 4 in Shame 

The Sick Patient – I become so resigned to the reality that the world doesn’t understand and nurture me, knowing I’ve given my whole heart to all that I do and it’s simply not been received – where even the smallest act of mine that goes under-appreciated feels like a direct rejection of me – such that I carry my heart as a wound I need to nurse indefinitely in an emotional puddle until someone finally notices, empathizes, and allows me to make them see how brilliant, sincere, caring, honest, and gifted I really am, in every way