Most of us think we are self-aware. But what does it actually mean to be self-aware? And why is it that people who think they are self-aware are usually the opposite? The Upbuild team unpacks this paradox of self-awareness and the challenges that we face in becoming self-aware. The team also discusses why having real self-awareness brings up shame, why we often respond to feedback with the phrase, "I am aware of that," and how our egos get in the way of "true self" awareness.

Podcast Hosts: Hari Prasada, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin (the full Upbuild team)

Highlights:

• [02:32] Why having real self-awareness brings up emotions such as shame

• [02:55] How being self-aware takes a lot of inner work

• [03:36] Why we respond to feedback with the phrase, "I am aware of that" 

• [05:26] How do you know if you are really self-aware

• [05:45] Self-awareness and humility as self-protecting virtues

• [06:30]  Why people who think they are self-aware are not

• [10:00] Why it's so hard for leaders to be self-aware 

• [10:46]  How peer circles, mature executive teams, and coaching can help in becoming self-aware

• [13:40] Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence and why self-awareness is foundational to leadership

• [16:00]  How our egos get in the way of "true self" awareness

• [20:00] Looking at your insecurities as a starting point

• [26:50] Avoidance and how it blocks one’s self and relationships

• [28:40] Living our lives with the mindsets of “what am I not seeing” and “I live to be corrected”

Quotes

• "If we don't know where the 'you are here' point on the map is, how can you go anywhere else?" -Hari Prasada

• “When you know you have insecurities, it’s not a small thing. When you really know you have insecurities and the form that they take, it’s a stark reality.” -Rasanath

• “Self-awareness is humbling because we see more. We see our egos, we see our shadows, we see our insecurities, and instead of creating hyped up confidence, they ground us in humility and make us disarming because we can be who we are.” -Hari Prasada

• “The journey of self-awareness is hard work, it’s walking toward the messes, it’s becoming comfortable with emotions such as shame.” -Rasanath