UPBUILDING THE SELF

Pinch Moments: A Tool to Restore Communication (and Relationships!)

Conversations can be triggering. How we deal with those triggers determines everything about how effective and meaningful those conversations (and by extension, our relationships) end up being. In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin explore the tool of “Pinch Moments” as a way to be able to recognize, call out, and address conversations that trigger us…without being triggering ourselves.

Podcast Hosts: Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform

Highlights

  • [1:10] Defining Pinch Moment

  • [4:00] The Art of the Meta-Conversation

  • [6:20] How to know if we are experiencing a Pinch Moment

  • [9:30] The reservations of using this framework as a tool

  • [14:30] Nonviolent Communication

  • [17:50] Vipin feeling a pinch when his co-founders didn’t invite him to lunch

  • [24:00] Rasanath’s example of feeling pinched in a conversation with his wife

  • [27:40] The unexpected nature of Pinch Moments

  • [28:20] The rules of engagement for using this tool

  • [36:30] Using Pinch Moments as a tool for self-awareness 

  • [38:20] Closing thoughts

Quotes

  • “When we actually feel pinched, it’s not a pleasant experience, but it’s an invitation to talk about deeper emotions, and also understand somebody else’s deeper emotions.” - Rasanath

  • ”The way you feel, you have to own that, and that’s part of what’s important here with this tool.” - Vipin

  • “Pinch moments are indicative of some need that is not being met.” - Michael

  • “To be able to have honest conversations about what’s really going on builds trust.” - Vipin

For first timers, welcome to Upbuilding the Self

About the podcast: Two former monks, a former startup founder and CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.

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