How do you respond to the question, “How are you?” Do you answer honestly or reflexively? Do you even know what the honest answer is? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, “The Oldest Profession in the World.” They analyze the standard responses to the question, ‘How are you?’ and what our responses might be attempting to communicate on a deeper level. They discuss how our egos get in the way of authentic answers and offer alternative questions that get closer to the heart of the matter.

Podcast Hosts: Michael Sloyer and Hari Prasada Das

Highlights

• [2:00] The complexity of the question, “How are you?”

• [3:30] What we might actually be trying to convey when we respond with, “Good, I’m really busy”

• [5:00] Being chameleonic as a way to connect and to get validation 

• [5:45] The difference between being adaptable and being chameleonic

• [7:00] The origin of the title, The Oldest Profession in the World

• [7:50] Human beings vs. human doings

• [9:30] Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, was a proponent of the question, “What is alive in you right now?”

• [11:10] The power of the question, “What are you going through?”

• [12:20 ] Why do we answer the question, “How are you?” with one-word answers

• [16:00] How we try to sell one another on our egos

• [17:30] Determining what we are trying to prove as a way to understand our own ego

• [21:00] How most of us don’t even know how we are feeling

• [22:20] The concept of the Mode of Goodness from the Bhagavad-Gita

• [23:00] The importance of a spiritual practice in allowing us to experience more of our true self

• [25:40] Recommitting everyday to live the life of the soul rather than the life of the ego

Quotes

• The question is ‘How are you doing?’ not ‘What are you doing?’, and yet we answer about what we have been doing to give ourselves a sense of worth in the world.  -Michael Sloyer

• “When someone is asking ‘How are you?’ they generally want to know about your being rather than your doing.” -Michael Sloyer 

• “We are making these decisions [how to respond] so unconsciously, and that is the problem.” -Hari Prasada Das

• “Everyone is always trying to sell another on their egos.” -Hari Prasada Das

• “The ego is always angling for validation, control, and security.” -Michael Sloyer

• “Most of us have no idea how we are actually feeling.” -Michael Sloyer